And God gave us Jenna-- Part One

So in my last post I commented on waiting and different situations that had been or could be brought to us.  I made that comment because between the first two weeks of June, three situations had been brought to us by adoption friends!

1) On June 5th we received a phone call by a lawyer in Tampa who did placements with a few adoption friends in the past.  She received our information from a friend and wondered if we were interested in having our profile shown to a Birthmom with a 3 week old African American Baby girl.  We whipped up a profile to get her and the Birthmom was interested in meeting us.  The meeting was set up for Saturday June 16th.

2) On June 8th we received a phone call from a friend in Orlando who was contacted about a stork drop bi-racial girl in Port St. Lucie.  She had been born that day and the social worker was looking for profiles to shown the Birth family.  We called on that situation and decided not to send anything because it was too much financially

3) On June 12 we received an email and a phone call within minutes of each other from adoption friends who heard about a situation in Jacksonville.  They thought we sounded like the family for this baby-- a 5 week old African American baby girl.  We read through the information and decided to send in their profile paperwork.  We knew we had a meeting set up with the Birthmom in Tampa on the 16th but also knew that the deadline for the profile for the Jacksonville situation was Monday the 18th and Birthmom would choose the family on Tuesday the 19th.  We figured if it worked out with the Tampa Birthmom we'd call the Jacksonville lawyer and withdraw our profile.

June 16th came and the Tampa lawyer called and apologized but said the Birthmom had not returned her calls since Tuesday so she's let us know if she heard from her.  She said it was not a good sign for us. 

So we still had a chance at the Jacksonville situation.  We told the Tampa lawyer about it and said we'd let her know how that turns out.

I contacted the lawyer on Monday June 18th to be sure they received our paperwork:  A four page typed profile questionaire and 3 (yes, he only allows 3) family pictures.  He replied that he did receive it and also told me that they had received 20 profiles for this situation (ugh).  He said that the meeting with the Birthmom to look at the profiles was scheduled for 1pm on Tuesday and we would receive and email (not chosen) or phone call (chosen) as soon as she decided on her family and he did not know how long that would take.

Tuesday June 19th came-- I tried sooo hard to stay busy all day.  I was so excited to just know-- yes or no.  I was nervous all afternoon and kept refreshing my email to be sure I didn't miss the "I'm sorry you have not been chosen" email.  1 pm, 2 pm, 3 pm, 4 pm.... by 5 pm I emailed him and asked if she made it to the appointment and if I had missed his email. 6 pm we are getting ready to all sit down for dinner and my phone rings... OMG  it's a Jacksonville number--  OMG OMG.... breathe..... Hello... the lawyer asks if this is a good time to talk (no not really I'm thinking-- I just left three kids at the table with plates of food-- who knows what will happen)  Oh yes- yes, I reply.  He asked if my husband is there and I call Chris into our bedroom, close the door (hoping the kids don't destroy the kitchen or feed all their food to the dog for the moment).  He then tells us the Birthmom chose us!!!!!!!!  She had narrowed down her choices to 6 in the early afternoon and then took the 6 home to her 6 and 8 year old children to have them help her make the final selection.  They were unanimous on us!!!!!  He then replied that he would like us to come up Wednesday morning around 11:30 and if everything goes well and she likes us in person and we like her then placement could happen Wednesday or Thursday.  YAHOOOOO!!!!!!  And I breakdown in tears of gratitude....

Stay Tuned for Part 2

Waiting....

Yep... We are still waiting. It's only been 6 months which is like nothing but it is longer than we waited for Kaycee and for some strange reason I thought for SURE Jenna would be brought to us rather quickly. I guess I thought having a minority baby girl would increase our chances of a Birthmother expecting a minority baby girl choosing us. Unfortunately, there haven't been many Birthmothers expecting minority baby girls working with our agency in the past 6 months. I have also found this difficult because I know many other families that are waiting and open to different ethnic races this time around so part of me wants to say "You go first" because they haven't had the awesome experience of adoption yet. We are sooooo blessed with our three children already and I never want to sound greedy. I am just anxious to complete our family. I want to have family pictures taken with the entire family present. I bought Groupons for photographers that will expire this fall and I really hope our family is complete by then but if not then we'll just use them anyway! I have many, many, many more adoption connections this time around and have been exposed to other possible opportunities that have been difficult to turn down. We have set a stipulation for ourselves if and when situations are brought to us... the only way we would adopt outside Bethany at this time is if it's a minority babygirl who is already born (stork drop) and the expense wouldn't exceed what we would owe Bethany upon match and placement. That really narrows things down but it is what is smartest for us financially and emotionally. Soooo who knows where our sweet Jenna is... only God knows! For now, I have cut back work to 2 days a week for the summer and I made a Bucket List of fun things to do with the kids all summer long!! We just got back from a wonderful week long vacation in the Georgia Mountains and I got my nature fix! The kids are at fun ages and really like to do crafts and "projects." Staying busy helps waiting for our little one much easier!

A Post of Pins

So I don't feel much like writing because there isn't anything to write about-- well sure there is but I don't FEEL like writing about it right now. Where are we in the process?? Waiting.... It's all good as God has Jenna picked out for us and He will bring her when she is ready. Whenever I get discouraged I just look at Kaycee and it reaffirms God's plan for us. So we went to Panama City this weekend for a quick visit for our Godson/nephew's First Communion. On the way home I went a little crazy on Pinterest!! I decided I want to make this post a bunch of quotes or pictures I pinned so here you go.....

Open Adoption Agreements

Open Adoption Round Table Discussion #36
Open adoption agreements are the documents signed by placing parents and adopting parents that establish post-adoption contact expectations and boundaries. Discussions often focus on their legal weight (e.g. Are the agreements enforceable in court?) or the practical details (e.g. How many visits?), both very important issues.

When we first began our adoption process I was totally cool with Semi Open adoption but not so sure of "Open Open Adoption!" We had friends that had open adoptions with both of their children but still it was kinda scary. I thought it was going to feel like a divorce situation but instead I have been so surprised that it feels more like a family extension. We stepped out on the edge when our agency's Pregnancy Counselor asked if she could show our profile to a Birth Mother who wanted 1-2 visits a year. Frankly, I was just excited to have my profile shown and was thinking I could handle 1-2 "supervised visits" a year!! When Kaycee's BM chose us and we met her, our whole perception changed. Before then it was just words and stories we had heard. Then there was a real, amazing, beautiful woman who I just wanted to hug and hold and love on. I always giggle when I think of the conversations my husband and I had on the car ride to and from meeting our perspective BM.
It went something like this:
Car ride there...
Husband: "Um, she's never coming to our house ya know. We can meet her at Bethany's office or at a public park with a social worker there." Me: "Ok yeah we'll see how it goes.... I mean I don't want this to be like co-parenting or anything."
Ride Home 2 hours later:
Husband: "Wow-- she is amazing. I think we should have her over for Christmas this year."
Me: "Um, ok let's just see how it goes..."

And we did have her over for Christmas last year.
One thing we did do (which is why I am responding to this round table discussion) is have a written agreement in place. I had another friend who had adopted her son and had an open adoption a few months prior but no written agreement made. She recommended we do it to prevent any miscommunication or hurt feelings. So we did and I was glad we did. We set it up for pics and letters every month for the first 6 months, then at 9 and 12 months and then visits every October, February, June or something like that... As you can tell we haven't really followed it because we have opened it up to where we can text or call and set it up whenever but it was sooooo important to me to have that in place in the beginning. Not because I was afraid she was going to over step her boundaries but because I never wanted to let her down or hurt her feelings by not letting her see Kaycee. So now I send pictures when I get them or I'll text them to her. We saw her at Kaycee's birthday in October (she came to our home for the party) but have not seen her since. I have tried and left that door open for her. Whenever she wants a visit I'll be there with arms wide open. I pray that she will continue to want them...

This song has been playing in my head all day! I just love Matt Maher!! I saw him in concert last year and it was great! I hope you all had a blessed Easter! We sure did!!!

Created for Care Retreat-- Part Two

Sooo I've been thinking how I'm going to sum up the retreat in my "Part 2" post and it's really difficult to put in words the amazing weekend. So I'll try now:
I knew this was a "Christian Adoptive Mom's Retreat" but didn't know that I was going to be so filled by the Holy Spirit all weekend long. It was awesome having people talk freely and opening about God in their lives and families and how we need to TRUST HIM. I have been a little anxious at times this go around with waiting and this weekend reinforced the need to put it all in HIS hands. Boy, He has not disappointed me yet and I know He won't with Jenna. When I wake up to Kaycee singing on the baby monitor every morning I think "Wow-- I am so blessed. What a gift she is to us." I know Jenna will be an incredible gift as well. Anyhow, the weekend surprised me with so much praise and worship and I LOVED it!!! I felt like I was at a Women of Faith conference for a group of Adoptive Moms Only!! As I was inspired after I left Women of Faith back in October, so was I when I left this retreat. On Sunday, I went back home to Central Florida and posted on our Central Florida Adoptive Families FB page and set up a Moms Only Lunch in April. Since our group started in July we have always done family play dates (which I LOVE) but after this past weekend I knew that we needed a time to just connect as adoptive moms and share our stories, struggles, and joys. I'm really looking forward to it!

So what did I get out of the Created for Care Retreat??
1) Rejuvenation of Faith filled with goosebumps from so many worshiping moms together
2) Stronger Trust that God has our adoption story written and we must be patient
3) New understanding of different types of adoption-- international, foster, domestic
4) True connections with my "Blogging Buds" and new friendships
5) Education on racism with adoption and tips on raising our daughter of a different race
6) A sore jaw from talking so much....

I decided next year I am going one day early just to rest and enjoy the retreat center. I did not rest much at all-- I didn't want to miss anything!! This was an amazing weekend and I am so grateful to the women who put it together!!

Created for Care Retreat-- Part One

So this past weekend I drove up north of Atlanta alone (boy was that peaceful!) to a beautiful resort called Lake Lanier Resort (www.lakelanierislands.com) for an incredible retreat for adoptive moms. It was called Created for Care http://createdforcare.org and over 450 women-- Adoptive or waiting to adopt were there! I was sooooooo excited! I've always said that I feel like adoptive moms/families are like their own little club-- we just understand each other more than other people understand us. We have had people say the craziest things to us and searched within ourselves for the best responses to be kind and educate when really we just want to hit them over the head! Anyhow, my weekend started meeting a "friend" of mine who I feel like I really know even though we never met! She contacted me almost 2 years ago through the Bethany Christian Services FB page because I put a post there. We ended up talking on the phone and then following each other on our blogs and FB through both of our adoption journeys. She is just as cool in person if not more!! She roomed with me and another girl she brought who she met at their Bethany Adoptive Parents Training weekend and Cherie is a waiting mom too! That was the beginning of the excitement of the weekend!
My first breakout session was with an Adoptive Moms panel-- I LOVE panel discussions. It's so fun to see what people have to say and soooooo neat to see several women all with awesome families built through different types of adoption telling their stories! I must admit I was most excited to see/meet Aimee Powell (Mac Powel's wife-- lead singer of Third Day). I have read their stories in magazines and seen some of their testimonies but so cool to meet her in person and what an awesome person she is-- not that I ever doubted it...
OK--there is so much to say that I'm going to put this in a few posts...