And God gave us Jenna-- Part 3 of 3

Sorry for the "suspenseful delay!"  It's been such a busy week and I didn't want to rush through this post....

So we get home Wednesday evening-- blessed that our neighbors/friends (Thank you Joy & Glen!) were able to pick up Luke and Zack from camp since we didn't get home til after it closed.  I called a good friend of mine to see if she would be willing to come spend the night at our house and watch the kids the next day because we would need to leave by 6:30 am at the latest and we were NOT going to be late this time around!  My friend Leigh was sooooo wonderful and said she would be happy to help us out (Thank you Leigh!!).

We showed the boys pictures of Jenna and got things a bit more in order for her home coming.  Jenna's birth mom "D" sent me texts that night with pictures of Jenna right after she was born, her sonogram, and D's other two children.  She also sent me some pictures of her pregnant with Jenna.  I told her I wanted to make a book for Jenna all about "D" and her family and had asked if she could send me some pictures.   I was thrilled to have these treasures.  I tried to get some sleep... it was hard though as I was so excited!! 

Thursday morning Chris and I scooted out the door with the boys set up watching "Super Why" and Kaycee still sleeping.  Although I really don't remember what we talked about on our way there, the most amazing, powerful, incredible thing happened about 1  hour into our drive.  My phone "dinged" indicating a text-- it was from "D."  My heart stopped.  And then I read it.  I wasn't sure if I wanted to share this text on our blog because it is so personal but I want you all to know how incredible "D" is-- her text read:

7:09 am
"Good morning, it's almost time!  I just want to say thank you in advance for raising my baby in a wonderful, loving Christian home.  Words can not express my gratitude to not just you and Chris but your sons and daughter, again thank you."

Of  course I start crying.  I knew I'd cry today but thought it wouldn't be til later.  I was in awe of this amazing woman.   My reply was:

" You are making me cry already!  I knew I would today.  Tears of extreme gratitude.  We love you and promise to love Jenna with all our heart.  Our children are sooooooo excited about their new sister.  See you soon.  XOXOXO."

We arrive to the center on time and there is a court reporter, the pregnancy counselor, and the lawyer.  "D" was on her way with a friend.  The lawyer asked us if we had been present for Kaycee's TPR (Termination of Parental Rights) and we said no.  He said he thought it was important for the adoptive parents to be present and witness this. 

We had some time while we waited so talked about his procedures for adoption profile showing.   He said he gives the birth parents all the questionnaires (which are typed out) and asks them to narrow it down by reading them first before he ever shows them pictures of the couples/families.   Once they have it narrowed down some then they are given the three pictures we included.   I found that very interesting-- and neat! 

So "D" shows up with one of her friends and Jenna and gives us a hug and hands Jenna right over to me!  The interview was a hour long and very insightful.  I was so happy to hear exactly how much counseling she and her children had had about the adoption placement and that she was sure she would continue her sessions.  After going to Bethany Christian Services adoptive parents weekend, we always knew we wanted our children's birth parents to be well cared for and supported before and after placement.  Since this placement wasn't with Bethany, the extent that this Pregnancy Center and lawyer had provided counseling was so reassuring.  It was also good for my heart to hear that without any reservation she wanted to place Jenna with us and she had no regrets about her decision. 

After the interview the lawyer asked  "D" what she was going to do for the rest of the day and she replied "Let's go take pictures!"  I was so glad she was still up for it!  She gave me permission to post these pictures of that day.

  

Then we said goodbye to the counselor and the lawyer and we all (D & her friend and Chris, Jenna and I) drove to the nearby Clinic where Jenna had been seen by a doctor for a "well check" a few weeks before to get copies of her medical records. 
We set a date for our first visit the end of July and I told her to text me anytime she was having difficulty or just needed a picture of Jenna and I would send one as quickly as I could.  I also told her that Kaycee's birthmom said that "D" could call her anytime for support (how cool is that?!)
(**they have connected on the phone since that day and Kaycee's birthmom said they talked like they had been friends forever!!  I'm so grateful for that!)

We drove home with me in the backseat with Jenna (of course) ) and came home to a neat sign in our front yard and very excited brothers!!

On the drive home

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jenna looks not so sure about these guys but they will be her protectors forever!!

And now we are complete.

And God gave us Jenna-- Part 2

Soooo... Tuesday night I am running around washing baby clothes, bibs and burp cloths.  I pull out the bottles and swing and bouncy seat.  We decide to bring Kaycee with us but have the boys go to summer camp.  They were disappointed but we told them "only adopted kids could go."  Ha!  We wanted the Birthmom to meet at least one of our children and since Kaycee would be her sister and so close in age we thought that would be best.

Wednesday morning we drop off the boys and head to Jacksonville-- a 2 1/2 hour drive.  We were running about 15 minutes late which I hated and then of course I had to go to the bathroom before we got there!!  I didn't want to be like "Hi-- I gotta go to the bathroom" so we stop about 15 minutes before and it sets us behind a bit more.  Ugh.  We made it 20 minutes late but no one seemed too upset by that-- phew!

We met at a pregnancy crisis center-- The lawyer, the Birthmom ("D") was holding her baby girl and the birthmom's counselor were all sitting around a big table when we walked in.  I wanted to give "D" a big hug but didn't want to seem too overbearing!  Kaycee also became very clingy as she wasn't quite sure what was going on.  We sat down and just talked about us, about "D," about the baby and her adoption decision.  Then the lawyer and counselor said if we felt comfortable they wanted us (Chris, Kaycee, D, baby girl and I) to go out to lunch alone to get to know each other and make sure this seemed like a good fit for both sides.   He said the next step was for us to return and separately call him and tell him if we wanted to proceed or not with the adoption.   Then the next steps would be determined.

So we all drove together and went to Chick-fil-a!  We figured it was kid friendly for Kaycee and she might want to play in the play area.  "D" let me hold her baby as soon as we got there-- it was like we had known each other a long time and were the best of friends.  Conversation flowed easily and there was barely a moment of awkwardness.  "D" was so cute and said she could call the lawyer right then and give him the go ahead but we decided to wait until we were in a quieter space.  Chris and I were soooooo full of love for this amazing woman and her adorable baby girl.  Kaycee was so cute around the baby and kept patting her head and back!

In D's profile description we saw it said that she was interested in a Semi Open adoption with the possibility of more contact if the family was open to that.  We discussed this at lunch because we really wanted an open adoption like we have with Kaycee's Birth mom. We didn't want Kaycee to know who her Birthmom was and Jenna not to-- we knew if God planned something else we'd work with it but we were praying we'd be matched with a Birthmom open to visits and contact.  "D" said she would love that and we planned quarterly visits with pics and letters.  We exchanged phone numbers so we could text and I could send her pictures that way also.

Something we did with Kaycee was pick her first name and have her Birth mom choose her middle name.  We wanted to do this with Jenna also and figured "D" would use the first name she was using but instead she chose Marie.  Oh my goodness-- I LOVE the name Marie and had even thought of that as a middle name if we were matched with a Birth mom who wanted a closed adoption or did not want to choose.  My heart was full and I knew once again God made this connection for all of us!  "D" knew we wanted to name her Jenna since we put that in our profile and she said that she and her 2 children had started practicing calling her Jenna the night they chose us.  My heart melted-- again....

Jenna on the car ride to Chick-fil-a

Kaycee and Daddy loving on Jenna at lunch

So we went back to the center and that's when "D" said that the center was going to call her a cab home.  We told her if she felt comfortable we could give her a ride home-- and we did.  We knew this had the possibility of  turning into a wonderful open adoption!! 


We went to the lawyers office and filled out our paperwork.  We set it up to come back the next morning for the signing of the "Termination of Parental Rights" and placement of Jenna Marie into our arms.... We drove home on cloud 9 with our sweet Kaycee asleep in the back seat.  Again, I had tears of gratitude and my husband just smiled and held my hand....

Stay tuned for Part 3-- the Final Chapter of And God gave us Jenna....

And God gave us Jenna-- Part One

So in my last post I commented on waiting and different situations that had been or could be brought to us.  I made that comment because between the first two weeks of June, three situations had been brought to us by adoption friends!

1) On June 5th we received a phone call by a lawyer in Tampa who did placements with a few adoption friends in the past.  She received our information from a friend and wondered if we were interested in having our profile shown to a Birthmom with a 3 week old African American Baby girl.  We whipped up a profile to get her and the Birthmom was interested in meeting us.  The meeting was set up for Saturday June 16th.

2) On June 8th we received a phone call from a friend in Orlando who was contacted about a stork drop bi-racial girl in Port St. Lucie.  She had been born that day and the social worker was looking for profiles to shown the Birth family.  We called on that situation and decided not to send anything because it was too much financially

3) On June 12 we received an email and a phone call within minutes of each other from adoption friends who heard about a situation in Jacksonville.  They thought we sounded like the family for this baby-- a 5 week old African American baby girl.  We read through the information and decided to send in their profile paperwork.  We knew we had a meeting set up with the Birthmom in Tampa on the 16th but also knew that the deadline for the profile for the Jacksonville situation was Monday the 18th and Birthmom would choose the family on Tuesday the 19th.  We figured if it worked out with the Tampa Birthmom we'd call the Jacksonville lawyer and withdraw our profile.

June 16th came and the Tampa lawyer called and apologized but said the Birthmom had not returned her calls since Tuesday so she's let us know if she heard from her.  She said it was not a good sign for us. 

So we still had a chance at the Jacksonville situation.  We told the Tampa lawyer about it and said we'd let her know how that turns out.

I contacted the lawyer on Monday June 18th to be sure they received our paperwork:  A four page typed profile questionaire and 3 (yes, he only allows 3) family pictures.  He replied that he did receive it and also told me that they had received 20 profiles for this situation (ugh).  He said that the meeting with the Birthmom to look at the profiles was scheduled for 1pm on Tuesday and we would receive and email (not chosen) or phone call (chosen) as soon as she decided on her family and he did not know how long that would take.

Tuesday June 19th came-- I tried sooo hard to stay busy all day.  I was so excited to just know-- yes or no.  I was nervous all afternoon and kept refreshing my email to be sure I didn't miss the "I'm sorry you have not been chosen" email.  1 pm, 2 pm, 3 pm, 4 pm.... by 5 pm I emailed him and asked if she made it to the appointment and if I had missed his email. 6 pm we are getting ready to all sit down for dinner and my phone rings... OMG  it's a Jacksonville number--  OMG OMG.... breathe..... Hello... the lawyer asks if this is a good time to talk (no not really I'm thinking-- I just left three kids at the table with plates of food-- who knows what will happen)  Oh yes- yes, I reply.  He asked if my husband is there and I call Chris into our bedroom, close the door (hoping the kids don't destroy the kitchen or feed all their food to the dog for the moment).  He then tells us the Birthmom chose us!!!!!!!!  She had narrowed down her choices to 6 in the early afternoon and then took the 6 home to her 6 and 8 year old children to have them help her make the final selection.  They were unanimous on us!!!!!  He then replied that he would like us to come up Wednesday morning around 11:30 and if everything goes well and she likes us in person and we like her then placement could happen Wednesday or Thursday.  YAHOOOOO!!!!!!  And I breakdown in tears of gratitude....

Stay Tuned for Part 2

Waiting....

Yep... We are still waiting. It's only been 6 months which is like nothing but it is longer than we waited for Kaycee and for some strange reason I thought for SURE Jenna would be brought to us rather quickly. I guess I thought having a minority baby girl would increase our chances of a Birthmother expecting a minority baby girl choosing us. Unfortunately, there haven't been many Birthmothers expecting minority baby girls working with our agency in the past 6 months. I have also found this difficult because I know many other families that are waiting and open to different ethnic races this time around so part of me wants to say "You go first" because they haven't had the awesome experience of adoption yet. We are sooooo blessed with our three children already and I never want to sound greedy. I am just anxious to complete our family. I want to have family pictures taken with the entire family present. I bought Groupons for photographers that will expire this fall and I really hope our family is complete by then but if not then we'll just use them anyway! I have many, many, many more adoption connections this time around and have been exposed to other possible opportunities that have been difficult to turn down. We have set a stipulation for ourselves if and when situations are brought to us... the only way we would adopt outside Bethany at this time is if it's a minority babygirl who is already born (stork drop) and the expense wouldn't exceed what we would owe Bethany upon match and placement. That really narrows things down but it is what is smartest for us financially and emotionally. Soooo who knows where our sweet Jenna is... only God knows! For now, I have cut back work to 2 days a week for the summer and I made a Bucket List of fun things to do with the kids all summer long!! We just got back from a wonderful week long vacation in the Georgia Mountains and I got my nature fix! The kids are at fun ages and really like to do crafts and "projects." Staying busy helps waiting for our little one much easier!

A Post of Pins

So I don't feel much like writing because there isn't anything to write about-- well sure there is but I don't FEEL like writing about it right now. Where are we in the process?? Waiting.... It's all good as God has Jenna picked out for us and He will bring her when she is ready. Whenever I get discouraged I just look at Kaycee and it reaffirms God's plan for us. So we went to Panama City this weekend for a quick visit for our Godson/nephew's First Communion. On the way home I went a little crazy on Pinterest!! I decided I want to make this post a bunch of quotes or pictures I pinned so here you go.....

Open Adoption Agreements

Open Adoption Round Table Discussion #36
Open adoption agreements are the documents signed by placing parents and adopting parents that establish post-adoption contact expectations and boundaries. Discussions often focus on their legal weight (e.g. Are the agreements enforceable in court?) or the practical details (e.g. How many visits?), both very important issues.

When we first began our adoption process I was totally cool with Semi Open adoption but not so sure of "Open Open Adoption!" We had friends that had open adoptions with both of their children but still it was kinda scary. I thought it was going to feel like a divorce situation but instead I have been so surprised that it feels more like a family extension. We stepped out on the edge when our agency's Pregnancy Counselor asked if she could show our profile to a Birth Mother who wanted 1-2 visits a year. Frankly, I was just excited to have my profile shown and was thinking I could handle 1-2 "supervised visits" a year!! When Kaycee's BM chose us and we met her, our whole perception changed. Before then it was just words and stories we had heard. Then there was a real, amazing, beautiful woman who I just wanted to hug and hold and love on. I always giggle when I think of the conversations my husband and I had on the car ride to and from meeting our perspective BM.
It went something like this:
Car ride there...
Husband: "Um, she's never coming to our house ya know. We can meet her at Bethany's office or at a public park with a social worker there." Me: "Ok yeah we'll see how it goes.... I mean I don't want this to be like co-parenting or anything."
Ride Home 2 hours later:
Husband: "Wow-- she is amazing. I think we should have her over for Christmas this year."
Me: "Um, ok let's just see how it goes..."

And we did have her over for Christmas last year.
One thing we did do (which is why I am responding to this round table discussion) is have a written agreement in place. I had another friend who had adopted her son and had an open adoption a few months prior but no written agreement made. She recommended we do it to prevent any miscommunication or hurt feelings. So we did and I was glad we did. We set it up for pics and letters every month for the first 6 months, then at 9 and 12 months and then visits every October, February, June or something like that... As you can tell we haven't really followed it because we have opened it up to where we can text or call and set it up whenever but it was sooooo important to me to have that in place in the beginning. Not because I was afraid she was going to over step her boundaries but because I never wanted to let her down or hurt her feelings by not letting her see Kaycee. So now I send pictures when I get them or I'll text them to her. We saw her at Kaycee's birthday in October (she came to our home for the party) but have not seen her since. I have tried and left that door open for her. Whenever she wants a visit I'll be there with arms wide open. I pray that she will continue to want them...

This song has been playing in my head all day! I just love Matt Maher!! I saw him in concert last year and it was great! I hope you all had a blessed Easter! We sure did!!!