Recently I posted on FB that I had my first encounter of unsolicited hair advice from a woman in the Target parking lot. So here's what happened:
I'm putting Kaycee in her car seat and this woman comes up to me and says:
Lady: "Is this your daughter?"
Me: "Yes she is" (smiling)
Lady: "ya know you have to take care of her hair. It's not like yours"
Me: "Um I think I do. I use moisturizer and special creams in her hair.". (I think her hair looked cute- just like the pics I recently posted for her 11 months)
Lady: "You have to use special creams. Our hair is fragile and it'll break."
Me: "I do"
Lady: "What do you use?"
Me: "this" (I whip out my iPhone and show her a pic of my products that I recently posted on this blog)
Lady: "You need to use Pink moisturizer. I am raising my granddaughter and that's what I use."
Me: "Ok thanks I'll keep that in mind. I have a lot of friends that help and I follow different blogs that offer advice on hair care.".
I write down Pink moisturizer in front of her. She leaves.
Phew. I actually go and buy Pink. It's ok. Not better that the other stuff I have. Now I have one more bottle on my haircare shelf and Kaycee isn't even a year old! Geeze.
So I believe she was trying to be helpful. I find it very rare that people are intentionally mean-- usually they are just unaware that their comments can be hurtful. It wouldn't have done any good if I came up with a snarky comment back and I want to be a good representative of transracial adoption and parenthood in general.
I really try hard not to take adoption questions or advice too personally but on occasion it bothers me or even hurts my feelings (my mom says I'm sensitive-- she's right I guess).
I try to pray and ask God to "Bless them and heal me." So that's what I'll do for today....
OMG, I knew it must be pink when you said something about it. I have been told to use that so many times. It is nothing but chemicals and will actually weaken and break hair! Please throw it out! It does not absorb into the hair so it does nothing for moisture. You are doing great. Don't let anyone make you feel insecure about it. It is a learning process and you are doing wonderfully!!
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