Wednesday, June 27, 2012

And God gave us Jenna-- Part 2

Soooo... Tuesday night I am running around washing baby clothes, bibs and burp cloths.  I pull out the bottles and swing and bouncy seat.  We decide to bring Kaycee with us but have the boys go to summer camp.  They were disappointed but we told them "only adopted kids could go."  Ha!  We wanted the Birthmom to meet at least one of our children and since Kaycee would be her sister and so close in age we thought that would be best.

Wednesday morning we drop off the boys and head to Jacksonville-- a 2 1/2 hour drive.  We were running about 15 minutes late which I hated and then of course I had to go to the bathroom before we got there!!  I didn't want to be like "Hi-- I gotta go to the bathroom" so we stop about 15 minutes before and it sets us behind a bit more.  Ugh.  We made it 20 minutes late but no one seemed too upset by that-- phew!

We met at a pregnancy crisis center-- The lawyer, the Birthmom ("D") was holding her baby girl and the birthmom's counselor were all sitting around a big table when we walked in.  I wanted to give "D" a big hug but didn't want to seem too overbearing!  Kaycee also became very clingy as she wasn't quite sure what was going on.  We sat down and just talked about us, about "D," about the baby and her adoption decision.  Then the lawyer and counselor said if we felt comfortable they wanted us (Chris, Kaycee, D, baby girl and I) to go out to lunch alone to get to know each other and make sure this seemed like a good fit for both sides.   He said the next step was for us to return and separately call him and tell him if we wanted to proceed or not with the adoption.   Then the next steps would be determined.

So we all drove together and went to Chick-fil-a!  We figured it was kid friendly for Kaycee and she might want to play in the play area.  "D" let me hold her baby as soon as we got there-- it was like we had known each other a long time and were the best of friends.  Conversation flowed easily and there was barely a moment of awkwardness.  "D" was so cute and said she could call the lawyer right then and give him the go ahead but we decided to wait until we were in a quieter space.  Chris and I were soooooo full of love for this amazing woman and her adorable baby girl.  Kaycee was so cute around the baby and kept patting her head and back!

In D's profile description we saw it said that she was interested in a Semi Open adoption with the possibility of more contact if the family was open to that.  We discussed this at lunch because we really wanted an open adoption like we have with Kaycee's Birth mom. We didn't want Kaycee to know who her Birthmom was and Jenna not to-- we knew if God planned something else we'd work with it but we were praying we'd be matched with a Birthmom open to visits and contact.  "D" said she would love that and we planned quarterly visits with pics and letters.  We exchanged phone numbers so we could text and I could send her pictures that way also.

Something we did with Kaycee was pick her first name and have her Birth mom choose her middle name.  We wanted to do this with Jenna also and figured "D" would use the first name she was using but instead she chose Marie.  Oh my goodness-- I LOVE the name Marie and had even thought of that as a middle name if we were matched with a Birth mom who wanted a closed adoption or did not want to choose.  My heart was full and I knew once again God made this connection for all of us!  "D" knew we wanted to name her Jenna since we put that in our profile and she said that she and her 2 children had started practicing calling her Jenna the night they chose us.  My heart melted-- again....

Jenna on the car ride to Chick-fil-a

Kaycee and Daddy loving on Jenna at lunch
So we went back to the center and that's when "D" said that the center was going to call her a cab home.  We told her if she felt comfortable we could give her a ride home-- and we did.  We knew this had the possibility of  turning into a wonderful open adoption!! 

We went to the lawyers office and filled out our paperwork.  We set it up to come back the next morning for the signing of the "Termination of Parental Rights" and placement of Jenna Marie into our arms.... We drove home on cloud 9 with our sweet Kaycee asleep in the back seat.  Again, I had tears of gratitude and my husband just smiled and held my hand....

Stay tuned for Part 3-- the Final Chapter of And God gave us Jenna....

Monday, June 25, 2012

And God gave us Jenna-- Part One

So in my last post I commented on waiting and different situations that had been or could be brought to us.  I made that comment because between the first two weeks of June, three situations had been brought to us by adoption friends!

1) On June 5th we received a phone call by a lawyer in Tampa who did placements with a few adoption friends in the past.  She received our information from a friend and wondered if we were interested in having our profile shown to a Birthmom with a 3 week old African American Baby girl.  We whipped up a profile to get her and the Birthmom was interested in meeting us.  The meeting was set up for Saturday June 16th.

2) On June 8th we received a phone call from a friend in Orlando who was contacted about a stork drop bi-racial girl in Port St. Lucie.  She had been born that day and the social worker was looking for profiles to shown the Birth family.  We called on that situation and decided not to send anything because it was too much financially

3) On June 12 we received an email and a phone call within minutes of each other from adoption friends who heard about a situation in Jacksonville.  They thought we sounded like the family for this baby-- a 5 week old African American baby girl.  We read through the information and decided to send in their profile paperwork.  We knew we had a meeting set up with the Birthmom in Tampa on the 16th but also knew that the deadline for the profile for the Jacksonville situation was Monday the 18th and Birthmom would choose the family on Tuesday the 19th.  We figured if it worked out with the Tampa Birthmom we'd call the Jacksonville lawyer and withdraw our profile.

June 16th came and the Tampa lawyer called and apologized but said the Birthmom had not returned her calls since Tuesday so she's let us know if she heard from her.  She said it was not a good sign for us. 

So we still had a chance at the Jacksonville situation.  We told the Tampa lawyer about it and said we'd let her know how that turns out.

I contacted the lawyer on Monday June 18th to be sure they received our paperwork:  A four page typed profile questionaire and 3 (yes, he only allows 3) family pictures.  He replied that he did receive it and also told me that they had received 20 profiles for this situation (ugh).  He said that the meeting with the Birthmom to look at the profiles was scheduled for 1pm on Tuesday and we would receive and email (not chosen) or phone call (chosen) as soon as she decided on her family and he did not know how long that would take.

Tuesday June 19th came-- I tried sooo hard to stay busy all day.  I was so excited to just know-- yes or no.  I was nervous all afternoon and kept refreshing my email to be sure I didn't miss the "I'm sorry you have not been chosen" email.  1 pm, 2 pm, 3 pm, 4 pm.... by 5 pm I emailed him and asked if she made it to the appointment and if I had missed his email. 6 pm we are getting ready to all sit down for dinner and my phone rings... OMG  it's a Jacksonville number--  OMG OMG.... breathe..... Hello... the lawyer asks if this is a good time to talk (no not really I'm thinking-- I just left three kids at the table with plates of food-- who knows what will happen)  Oh yes- yes, I reply.  He asked if my husband is there and I call Chris into our bedroom, close the door (hoping the kids don't destroy the kitchen or feed all their food to the dog for the moment).  He then tells us the Birthmom chose us!!!!!!!!  She had narrowed down her choices to 6 in the early afternoon and then took the 6 home to her 6 and 8 year old children to have them help her make the final selection.  They were unanimous on us!!!!!  He then replied that he would like us to come up Wednesday morning around 11:30 and if everything goes well and she likes us in person and we like her then placement could happen Wednesday or Thursday.  YAHOOOOO!!!!!!  And I breakdown in tears of gratitude....

Stay Tuned for Part 2

Sunday, June 10, 2012


Yep... We are still waiting. It's only been 6 months which is like nothing but it is longer than we waited for Kaycee and for some strange reason I thought for SURE Jenna would be brought to us rather quickly. I guess I thought having a minority baby girl would increase our chances of a Birthmother expecting a minority baby girl choosing us. Unfortunately, there haven't been many Birthmothers expecting minority baby girls working with our agency in the past 6 months. I have also found this difficult because I know many other families that are waiting and open to different ethnic races this time around so part of me wants to say "You go first" because they haven't had the awesome experience of adoption yet. We are sooooo blessed with our three children already and I never want to sound greedy. I am just anxious to complete our family. I want to have family pictures taken with the entire family present. I bought Groupons for photographers that will expire this fall and I really hope our family is complete by then but if not then we'll just use them anyway! I have many, many, many more adoption connections this time around and have been exposed to other possible opportunities that have been difficult to turn down. We have set a stipulation for ourselves if and when situations are brought to us... the only way we would adopt outside Bethany at this time is if it's a minority babygirl who is already born (stork drop) and the expense wouldn't exceed what we would owe Bethany upon match and placement. That really narrows things down but it is what is smartest for us financially and emotionally. Soooo who knows where our sweet Jenna is... only God knows! For now, I have cut back work to 2 days a week for the summer and I made a Bucket List of fun things to do with the kids all summer long!! We just got back from a wonderful week long vacation in the Georgia Mountains and I got my nature fix! The kids are at fun ages and really like to do crafts and "projects." Staying busy helps waiting for our little one much easier!