So when we thought there might be a chance we could adopt an African American baby I started researching hair. Reading books, looking at websites, reading blogs, etc. Last night I told my husband I was so glad God gave us Kaycee "because this is sooo much fun!!" (referring to hair stuff) Challenging but fun! She is only 10 months old and I have loads of products. First is skin care-- no one told be she was going to peel like crazy when she turned 1 week old!! She was so scaley and Aquaphor was the best! I don't use it that much now. My favorite thing right now is Body Butter that my mom brought home from the Canadian Rockies. I have learned never to put baby powder on a black baby-- she looked awful! Poor thing-- I had to wash it off and put on lotion. So here is a picture of my current skin care products-- still need to do more research on this stuff.
Last night I watched a couple videos on YouTube on making lotion and decided I'd rather just buy it!!
Next is shampoo and conditioner. We only wash K's hair once a week and then rinse with just water or with conditioner and water-- a term called "cowashing" a couple times a week. She just loves to run her hands through her hair easpcially while shes eating!! AHHHHH!!!! I only have a few of these products.
Next there is the maintenance hair care products. Now this I have a ton of different options! Funny thing is I often like my Mango Butter I got at the Dollar Tree Best. It's greasy but it holds her twists good and she doesn't get too frizzy with it. I just got Ecostyle Olive Oil Gel last week because one of my patient's caregiver told me about it and it was only $2 at Dollar General. I really get into different products but think I really should just finish up what I have but it could take me years. I was recently thinking that I should get some small jars and trade product samples with some of my friends who have also adopted transracially! Here's my maintenance/ styling products:
Then there is the detangling-- I always detangle in the bath when the conditioner is in her hair. I LOVE my tangle teezer (far right)!! It works awesome! I'll use the wide combs when she gets out of the bath after I pat it dry a little. Then I have a gazillion regular combs I got from the Dollar Tree for parting hair. Just trying what feels most comfortable and they were cheap so I didn't mind getting a pkg of a million gazillion. I also put a few of the clips I bought at Sally's in the picture because they are awesome!! They help hold K's hair when I make the parts.
I didn't include of the bows or bands or any of that because I have a whole drawer full. Did I mention she is only 10 months old?? I'm hoping to learn how to put in a few beads soon but must learn the way that she can NOT pull them out!!
Anyhow, lastly there is the preservation of the hair do-- I have been reading about sleep caps and all. I tried a sleep scarf but had a scare when she woke up playing with it. I got nervous that it could choke her so after reading blogs about it I found these stocking caps at the Dollar Tree (yes, I really like that place!) and they are working beautifully!! I had to put a knot in the end because when I went to get her out of bed the other day she had it down over her face!! I put it on when she falls asleep and then she still has it on when I get her in the morning!! We have less frizzies and longer style preservation!!
Well I'll post about my favorite hair books next post! That's it for now!
Oh-- PS KBM finally got back to me-- yeah!! Phew! We are good now! Thanks for your thoughts and prayers!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
So Open Adoption can have twists and turns of emotions and feelings. I have felt that we've had a "wonderful" openness with Kaycee's BM. We have only had a couple moments of miscommunication but it was ironed out once we picked up the phone and stopped texting. We have had a great texting relationship. I told KBM that anytime she wanted an update or picture of Kaycee just to send me a text and I'd get one to her right away!! She did this quite a bit in the beginning and then I texted pics to her at least once a month if not once a week! We were writing/txting weekly and have had several visits. Our last visit was in May when she and Kaycee and I went to Sea World together. We had a great time! She made some comment there that she thought she might want to close the adoption when Kaycee is 5 years old-- no real reason but I just replied "Why don't you just wait and see how things go..." I got a beautiful text from her in July that read:
*** I Thank God everyday for sending me you guys for Kaycee. Cause as I'm going thru the things I'm dealing with in my life I'm glad she's not here to see me go thru them cause a child can detect when somethings wrong and that's how I want her happy...love you guys and have a good day.***
She called us to chat about a week later from a different phone number and said she was having phone problems. That's the last I've heard from her. OK so I know it doesn't sound like a long time but when we were texting weekly it seems like forever! I feel like a teenager wondering why my friend hasn't called. I even sent her sisters a text (yes I have their numbers too) and asked her to contact me-- one called me and I told her it wasn't anything bad but I needed to talk to her soon. She never called-- no text-- no email--- hummmm...
This adoptive mom who wasn't sure she could really "do an open adoption" is now sad she hasn't heard from her daughter's tummy mommy. She said she was coming to Kaycee's first birthday party-- I really hope she will. It's not until October 29th.
If not, I'm glad I made Kaycee a special "Tummy Mommy book" and I'm so glad I have lots of pictures of them together at birth and this recent one at Sea World. I faded out part of her face for her privacy.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Yep-- I bought it...
I am in a Yahoo group called Adoption Hair & Skin Care and read about someone practicing braids on a mannequin head so they could get faster at it and make it easier on their child. So I ordered Naomi and I'm looking forward to watching my saved YouTube videos and practicing! My favorite haircare blogs include:
I feel like I'm missing something but it's late so I should just go to bed!! I'll keep you updated on my progress!!