I've been thinking about this post for a few days and just now have mustered up the energy to write. I actually was hemming and hawing on whether or not to post these details of our past weekend but I decided to so that this may be able to help some of you in the adoption process. It's gonna be a long one....So here it goes.....
My last post I wrote that we were going to go back to the hosp. Sat. afternoon to visit with Kaycee and her birth mom. Right after I posted that I got a call from our adoption agency director that KBM was having a very difficult day and they weren't sure if she wanted us to come. The birth mom counselor was with her for a few hours and then the director went and spent time with her. They called me later and said that she was struggling-- that her sister was very upset by her adoption decision (she hadn't really told her about it) and was giving her a very hard time about the whole thing. They said she was having doubts and to pray hard for her and us. I cried... and prayed... and cried... and prayed... I sent KBM a text telling her I was sorry she was having a rough day and that we loved her. We didn't get to go see Kaycee Saturday and she was set for discharge on Sunday.
Sunday morning we went to church at 8 am. When we came home I went to change my clothes and then I heard my husband Chris talking on the phone. I went to get the boys a change of clothes and Chris looked at me and said "Well here she is-- you two can cry together..." and handed me the phone! It was KBM-- she was sobbing-- and the first thing she said to me was "Will you hate me if I keep her?" My heart sunk, I took a deep breath and said "No-- I won't hate you. Maybe this isn't Kaycee." I proceeded to talk to her for about an hour with a loving heart and truly Divine Intervention-- I kept thinking "What would our social worker say to her???" This is her choice-- this is her daughter--- this is Kaycee's (if it is Kaycee) life. All I could tell her was about the kind of life we could give Kaycee and to think about why she chose adoption for her initially. At the end of our conversation I said "So what'll it be? Should we come or are you going to parent her?" She said "Come on." I breathed a sigh of relief but only a small one for the papers were not yet signed. We actually went out to breakfast with the boys and then got ready to head to the hospital. I sent a text to the birth mom social worker asking her if we were still on and should we come. She texted back "Definitely! She just signed." I then lost it-- sobbing tears-- the runny snot nosed kind that had been dying to be released! (BTW in the State of Florida, when birth mom signs the papers 48 hours after delivery it is all legal and she relinquishes all her rights)
We went to the hospital and got to spend a couple hours with KBM and I was blessed with the opportunity to speak with her sister on the phone and reassure her we would not run away with Kaycee. I told her about our written contract that includes 3 visits a year and photo and written updates. I set up a time this week to meet her at the adoption agency with Kaycee and her birth mom (her sister). That was a gift as her sister was then very happy for all of us-- phew!! After several hours (why do hospital discharges take so darn long??) KBM left and said a tearful good bye to us and we were taken to the nursery to do Kaycee's discharge. We made it home by 7 pm to see a few trick or treaters and introduce the boys to her. That's when we snapped a few of these pictures! So that's it in a nut shell! Now I understand why they say adoption is not for the faint of heart!!!!! We are so incredibly blessed....
